Emotion Revolution: Managing your emotional energy Top Tips
- What is emotional energy?
Energy is the fuel with which everything is achieved, and there seems to be a direct relationship between energy levels and levels of accomplishment.There are three different kinds of energy, each of which is necessary for maximum performance.
Each of these energies is different, but they are interrelated, and they depend on each other.
-Physical energy is raw energy, coarse energy, bulk energy, what we call “meat-and-potatoes” energy. Your physical energy is what you use to do physical labor.
-Mental energy is the energy of creativity, of problem solving and decision making.
-Emotional energy is the source of enthusiasm and excitement. This is the energy that lends sparkle to the life of an individual. Largely, it is your emotional energy that makes life enjoyable for you. In fact, almost everything you say and do is determined in some way by an emotion, either positive or negative.
- What are emotions?
There are typically three core components to an emotion:
-The feeling – our individual experience or interpretation of a situation.
-An external expression of what we’re experiencing (facial, bodily, verbal or all three)
-Physiological changes, for example changes in our heart rate, breathing and muscle tension. These physiological changes aren’t generally in our conscious control but we often become aware of their impact such as sweating, panting, muscle tension butterflies in the stomach etc..
- Map out your emotional energyThe first step to managing our emotions and energy levels is to carefully track our moods or alertness, throughout the day.
excessive worrying, guilt, indecisiveness, overcommitting and not setting healthy boundaries, holding on to loss
personalizing choices based on one’s needs and not on other’s expectations.
choosing experiences both large and small that include positive affect – beauty, fun and companionship.
learning how to say “no” without out feeling guilty, attending actively to losses, followed by letting go and embracing life fully once again.
- Emotional ‘False Alarms’
What we feel is a result of our instant interpretations or judgements of an event or situation and these aren’t always right.
- Check in with your emotional energy levelsWhat do you do about your level of emotional exhaustion?
-If you’re at level 1 – Full of E-motion, congratulate yourself but don’t be complacent. You’re not there by chance. You’re there because there are things you do to keep yourself there.
-If you’re at levels 2, have some E-fatigue or 3, verge of E-Exhaustion, you already know that your life doesn’t feel as good as you’d like it to and getting through your day feels harder than it should. You should know that this state will not get better all by itself. You need to do things to increase your emotional energy.-If you’re at level 4, you know you’re in a bad way. The good news is that there’s plenty you can do to feel more emotional energy than you’ve ever imagined feeling. If you do the things that give other people emotional energy, you’ll have it too.
-Whatever your level, you’ll be surprised at how quickly you can get back up to the highest level of emotional energy you’ve ever reached in your life. Always remember this. It’s natural to be filled with emotional energy
- Emotional energy is potentially unlimited
Physical energy is limited under the best of circumstances. But emotional energy is potentially unlimited. And unlike physical energy which runs down as we get older, emotional energy can increase the more you learn what works best for you. When you increase your emotional energy, it’s amazing how your dreams become realities. And that’s because obstacles lose the power to stop you.
- How to develop your emotional stamina
What do you do when you’re having a rough day?
Contrast this with what you do on a good day! We’ve got to develop our emotional stamina—on those days when we feel the WORST, we need to be the MOST committed to our fundamentals, to try to balance the drains with the gains.
- What are your emotions telling you?
On their own, negative emotions are neither good or bad.
Emotions: identify your feelings
Listening: your emotions matter
- Ditch the emotional energy drains
Energy drain: Other people’s expectations. You are driven by “should’s”
- Energy move: Declare independence – You bought in; you can set yourself free. No confrontation is needed, just “I don’t have to expect that of myself.”
Energy drain: Loss of self too often, result from not setting good boundaries
- Energy move: Personalize your life, establish boundaries
Ask yourself, if it were up to me, what would I… hang on my wall? Wear to work? Do for fun? Find the pockets of freedom where you can be more yourself.
Energy drain: Deprivation – Duties and responsibilities fill your days.
- Energy move: Add pleasure, beauty, fun to your life. Satisfying experiences, large and small, are the real nourishment you crave. Plan a big treat to look forward to—and a little one every day.
Energy drain: Worry and rumination instead of taking action
- Energy move: Get going – Action is the cure for worry. Do one thing that brings you a step closer to coping.
Energy drain: Unfinished business (e.g. multitasking, unmade decisions,postponed projects
- Energy move: Do it or dump it – Forget the perfect decision—just trust yourself and make a choice. Put projects in an appointment book. If you can’t find any good time, that’s a signal you don’t want to do it. So don’t.
Energy drain: Over commitment – You’re always saying “yes” to requests, favors, meetings.
- Energy move: Say “yes” to yourself – Tell someone else “no” every once in a while, just to feel your own power. You’ll gain a whole new sense of your ability to take care of yourself.
- Energy Vampires
Here are three steps to help you deal with people who drain you:
- Know one when you see one. Notice how you feel about your interactions with them – you may not find anything strange at first but some of the aspects mentioned above are likely to manifest fairly quickly.
- Limit your contact. Once you’ve identified such people, limit the amount of time you spend with them. If you can’t detach completely, as in the case of family members or coworkers, set firm limits. For example, for those who are intrusive or overly dramatic and end up consuming a lot of your time with their tales of woe or displays of theatrics, you should start off conversations with something like, “I only have a few minutes before I have to [fill in the blank]…” Once that time is up, politely disengage.
- Don’t get pulled in. No matter how much you might like to think or hope you will be able to fix their problems, you won’t. Chronically negative people will either resist your interventions or create new crises in their lives for you to “fix”. Keep a positive attitude and surround yourself with positive people who leave you feeling upbeat and energized.
- Is perfectionism draining your emotional energy?
Perfectionism involves a tendency to set standards that are so high that they either cannot be met, or are only met with great difficulty. Trying to be perfect is also likely to make you feel stressed and maybe even disappointed with yourself much of the time because you are not able to meet your standards easily or at all. Over time, you may even start to believe that you are not as capable as others. Therefore, it is worthwhile to consider loosening up your standards a bit to ease the stress and anxiety you may feel from trying so hard to be perfect.
- Get in the driving seat of your emotions
- Pay attention to how different emotions feel in your body: Our physical sensations are actually often the first signal.
- Pinpoint the intensity of the emotion: Use a scale from 1 to 10 to pinpoint the intensity of the emotion you’re experiencing. Doing so puts you back in the driver’s seat of your emotions, and helps you determine an appropriate course of action.
- Try grounding & centering techniques: If your emotion feels too big, use a technique that grounds and centres you.
- Name it to tame it (assign characters): Assigning characters to emotions can help us understand the real message these feelings seek to convey. For instance, anger tries to alert us that something is wrong and we need to take action. Its function is to protect us.
- Stay with emotions to explore: When we try to get rid of our emotions or ignore them, we miss out on their meaningful messages.
- Mindfulness is medicine